It's been a while since I last talk to her.. But whenever I'm alone or whenever I get to listen to the songs that reminded me of her.. It used to be questions on why but now it only reminds me of the happy times we have with each other.. Friends told me to find someone else and move on, I tried but not even one or someone that catches my eye like she does when I first saw her.. She's not like all my exes that I had or even mentioned previously in my blog.. She has really captured my heart truly.. I don't think she knows about it but if she ever or remember that I do have a blog.. She will know.. Be it in the bear future or never.. I rememeber that I once told her that I have imprinted on her as Jacob has.. Remember that I said that and make a piak sound.. But seriously I dunno why or pls don't ask me why but I did.. I know it sounds very cheesy but it's really how I felt when I said it to her and till now it still stands.. She has capture my heart, soul and mind.. I thought I have felt that before but to compare to now I can be assured that it is the only time I felt that she has.. The feeling is so strong that it cam overtake my senses so completely.. Sigh..
When I found out she has found someone that she's so willing to commit into the relationship.. Everything came crashing down, that moment I feel like trashing everything in sight.. But one sentence she ha said stops everything.. She says that she's very happy!! The moment she said that my heart melts cos to me the most impt is that she must be happy.. Though it's so heart wrenching.. I remain happy and wish her the best.. It's really how I feel but I can never let her know that I still love her.. I stop contacting her even I wanted so much to talk to her.. Keep myself occupied with so many things.. Studies, clubbing, drinking, knowing more ppl, even taking up qigong.. I know it's crazy but I need to keep myself from contacting her..
Friends says that she can just moved on so fast cos she don't even care or have feelings for u at all.. "you're just a experiment for her" and when she said that she just wants to maintain on an occasional text or whatsapps and does not want to meet me even as a friend.. It's as though I'm a disgrace that she wants to hide from her perfect normal world.. No one in her world knows that I exist at all.. All this to anyone it will be a " fuck you and get out of my life" but to me yes it hurts but I don't care actually all I want is for her to be happy and be successful in her life!! Yeah yeah this is the most stupidest thing someone will do but it seems alright to me.. Seriously imprinting has to do with everything.. Maybe in the near future I might find someone but she will never be her and my heart will never be totally belong to the future someone unless it is her..