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underneath the stars
I'll wait for you darling.

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Friday, April 29, 2005
Entrapment
21:11

Hopelessly bound
unfettered
by the chains of love's grip
- greatest gift,
fate's cruelest curse.

Wherefore do I weep
at knowing the joy,
the warmth,
at feeling the peace,
the fire.

Wherefore do I weep
unable to complete ,
to be,
unknown the kiss,
the flames.

Wherefore do I weep
at loving not living
seeing not touching
breathing not sharing
holding not loving?

All,
because I, The Fool,
am no more?

By Christopher


Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Love is a Sickness
23:59

LOVE is a sickness full of woes,
All remedies refusing;
A plant that with most cutting grows,
Most barren with best using.
Why so?
More we enjoy it, more it dies;
If not enjoyed, sighing cries
Heigh Ho!

Love is a torment of the mind,
A tempest everlasting;
And Jove hath made it of a kind
Not well, nor full, nor fasting.
Why so?
More we enjoy it, more it dies;
If not enjoyed, sighing cries
Heigh Ho!

Samuel Daniel


Sunday, April 17, 2005
untitled
16:54

have not been having enough sleep for the past few days even when i'm so tired my brain just can't seem to relax and go to sleep.. have been sleeping at 4 plus in the mornings.. dunno wad do do bout it.. shall try to sleep early tonight.. haha.. had dim sum this morning with my family at causeway point.. and at last i got the book titled The Notebook.. read a few pages.. find that the story is much more better being read than watching the movie.. read the book with an imaginative mind.. the story will be far more interesting.. yup that's all for today.. did not get to go to church early this morning today.. so now i've got to get ready for church.. will write more on how i feel bout the story.. if i've got the time..


Loss and Gain
01:45

When I compare
What I have lost with what I have gained,
What I have missed with what attained,
Little room do I find for pride.

I am aware
How many days have been idly spent;
How like an arrow the good intent
Has fallen short or been turned aside.

But who shall dare
To measure loss and gain in this wise?
Defeat may be victory in disguise;
The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Friday, April 15, 2005
The lyrics of my latest background music
02:18

Frankie J Ft Baby Bash - Obsession (Si es Amor)



Artist: Frankie J
Album: The One
Title: Obsession (No Es Amor)




(Check check ...this happened for real ...baby bash..yo.. frankie j.... obession)

Its early in the morning
And my heart is really lonely
Just thinkin bout you baby
Got me twisted in the head
And I dont know how to take it
But its driving me so crazy
I dont know if its right
I'm tossin turning in my bed
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Weak...
I'm feeling hopeless in my home
I dont know what to do but I think I'm in love
Baby...

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Now I know you're not my lady I'm just tryin to make this right
I dont know what to do I'm going out of my mind
So baby if u let me could I getchu to say maybe we could ride together
We could do this all nite now I dont care if u got a man
Baby I wish ud understand
Cuz I kno he cant love u right, quite like I can
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Weak...
I'm feeling hopeless at home
I dont kno what to do but I think I'm in love

[Chorus]


In Unlikeliest Places
01:43

I looked for the fair-fringed gentian
In the haunts where once it grew,
But I found no trace in the likeliest place,
Though I searched till the falling dew.
So back I turned to the city,
And was nearing the busy throng,
When the waning light revealed to my sight
The flower I had sought so long.

I was weary and full of disquiet;
I long for the highest and best;
And I failed to find, in the friends once kind,
An answer which gave me rest.
But there came to me in my trouble
A friend I had cast aside,
And I thought of the day when the dusty way
Could give what the field denied.

Henry Hildreth Piper


Friday, April 08, 2005
Lyrics of my background music..
01:02

One Last
by Taufik Batisah
album: Blessings (2005)
I never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have

Chorus:
One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for awhile and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both know
Its better if we just let it go

Everytime I try to take a stand at all
I see your face again and I fall
In the middle of the night there's the scent of a rose
The smell of your perfume I suppose
But we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have

Chorus

Baby if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear
So let's have

Chorus

We both know
It's better if we just let it go


Thursday, April 07, 2005
Will You Be?
14:12

Will you be who you say,
And love me all the way;
Or would you simply be
Like all the others who came my way?

Will you tell me what's on your mind
And share every ups and downs;
Or will you share for a while
And then drift on by?

Will you treat me right,
As how I'm treating you right;
Or will you do only for a while
And leave me hanging in sight?

Will you be the one
Who'll finally stay;
Or be the one
To hurt me today?


Monday, April 04, 2005
Basic Handwriting Analysis
21:32


For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Lucus has left some white space on the left side of the paper. Lucus fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion moving the entire writing rightward as she moves down the page. If this is true, then Lucus has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Lucus is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Lucus is leaving the past behind and moving on to what she perceives as an exciting and enticing future.



Lucus has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.



Lucus's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Lucus that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Lucus also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Lucus is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Lucus's self-concept is artificially low. Lucus will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Lucus to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Lucus is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.



In reference to Lucus's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Lucus slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Lucus can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.



Lucus is talkative. She enjoys talking and socializing. She may talk when there is absolutely nothing important to say. She enjoys speaking.



Lucus will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Lucus believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.



Lucus uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Lucus does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Lucus will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Lucus is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"



People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Lucus doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.


hmmmz...
18:23

made a decision today.. shall disappear for a while.. have time alone to settle my stuff.. when i'm ready i'll appear again.. but for now.. i'll just disappear for a while... yup..


Sunday, April 03, 2005
Questions...
15:26

*sigh* finished watching the show yesterday night.. very sad.. very touching.. as though it had happen in real life before.. did i cry.. yes i did.. many things went through my mind after the show.. makng me think why things happen to me in that way? why people lie? why people hurt people? is this really the way of life? why people fall in and out of love? why people cheat? why some people r cowards? why do people hate? why do people when facing problems run away? why are there always consequences that prevent you from say how u really feel from your heart? all these are going through my mind today.. but i feel i shouldn't think much.. why bother myself with all these problems? wad i wanna do now is to tell her how i really feel fuck all the consequences! maybe when i see her i'll tell her face to face.. we shall see how it goes.. i'll wait.. i'll wait fo rthe right time..


Saturday, April 02, 2005
Good Afternoon!
14:23

good afternoon bloggy.. haha today wake up damn early siah.. somemore yesterday sleep late cause watching legally blonde 2 red white & Blonde.. so funny.. yup... then with my dad went to pick my nephew up for his golf lesson at suntec.. went to ICA to pick up some documents.. then went back to suntec shop at carrefour bought my favourite juice and my sis's favourite milk.. lastly i found the DVD of the movie called The Notebook.. will be watching it tonight before i sleep.. Hope i wun cry wor.. LOL.. that's all for now.. cause it's smoking time for me.. lalala =]


hmmmz...
00:27

did nothing today.. have been playing game with my sis the whole day.. actually laze around the whole day.. had a dream last night.. very funny.. lol not gonna tell in this blog as it'll not come true? hehehe.. drove my mommy home just now in the evening... then went to my favourite place.. enjoying the wind have a couple of smokes.. this place actually have lots of memories to me.. but now it's a solitude place for me.. yup.. my mind is so full of questions to myself.. but all i can do is solve it one after another.. there's nothing much i could do too.. *sigh* thought i could move on but i still miss her hmmz.. shouldn't be doing tt at all.. -_-||| haha wadever.. let's just take things as it is.. wad ever happens happens for a reason and i'll respect wadever decision ppl make.. neither will i question them why cause i've got no right to do that.. yup.. hope things will get better for me.. gonna turn older soon.. sianz.. dun feel like celebrating my bdae anyway.. *argh* dun feel like doing anything.. but my sis says NO way! you got to go out with me and my bf and also siken.. we shall stay over at the hotel then go karaoke shoot some pool relax and have a lac lac day.. LOL.. so i agreed. OH MAN!! I LOVE MY SIS!! *muacks* :P that's it... will update soon again.. lol -end-


Friday, April 01, 2005
Lost
11:36

this is how i'm really feeling right now and then... wad should i take up? how am i gonna do that? will i able to do it? all these is right in my mind now.. so lost i'm feeling now.. wad should i do.. *sigh*


Whirling inside, emotions confused,
Staggering through to find some answers.
All I need is one simple answer,
One that unfortunately seems to ride away.

The mind refuses to let up,
The heart's heavy beyond words;
Meaning of ways seem to move on lost,
Nothing presents, nothing forth.

Try to keep mind at sane,
Wanes the truth, all a lie.
Fingers grasp thinning fog,
Deep within a silent crack.


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