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I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you
Monday, August 22, 2005
Grief never ends,
But it changes,
It's a passage,
Not a place to stay.
The sense of loss,
Must give way.
If we're to value,
The Life that was lived.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
Nor a lack of faith.
It's the price of love.
To my beloved father..
from me your daughter..
Friday, August 19, 2005
Staring at a maple leaf
Leaning on the mother tree
I said to myself we all lost touch
Your favorite fruit is chocolate covered cherries
And seedless watermelon
Nothing from the ground is good enough
Body Rise
Look what's over me
Oh chariot
Your golden waves
Are walking down
Upon this face
Oh chariot
I'm singing out loud
To guide me
Give me your strength
Remember seeing moon's rebirth
Rains made mirrors of the earth
The sun was just yellow energy
There is a living promise land
Even over fields of sand
Seasons fill my mind
And cover me
Bringing it back
More than a memory
You'll be my vacation away from this place
You know what I want
Holding that cup that's pouring over the sides
You make me want to spread my arms and fly
- G.D
Monday, August 15, 2005
Sometimes a man has to choose
And do something he doesn't wanna do
Do I live my life with you as my wife
Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream
I gotta do this for me
Cuz if I don't I'll probably regret it
But if I do I'll probably regret it
How do I cope
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you
It's killing me to know
That your heart hurts with me
But you're with him cause I chose
To be in this industry
Money, shows, and hoes come along with luxury and pain
Is all you see when you think about it
But this is the life that I was given
So I have to live it to the fullest
But how do I deal in the meantime without you
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you
How do you deal with when you cant be with the one
When the one you love is with somebody else
What do you do when you know she dont love him
But she love you, but she cant stand loving you far away
I guess I'm gonna have to just deal with it deal with it.
I dont want to have to live with it.
You just deal with it, deal with it. No, No, No, No
You just deal with it, deal with it.
I dont want no body else loving you,
I dont want no body else loving me.
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
by F.J
pictures i took on the journey back from chicago to seoul..
Sunday, August 14, 2005
hmmm.. the trip back from chicago was alright (quite fast actually!!).. the person sitting beside me was from korea and she was visiting her friends at St. Louis (did i spell correctly?) she's a doctor working in seoul.. OH MAN.. i tell u i've been meeting ppl who dun look like their age at all k.. she's 31 but she looks only like early 20s!! we talk alot bout the culture & things we do when we're back home.. oh yeah learn't some korean words.. bad language included!! :P hehehe.. did not do much in chicago.. as when i checked in and everything.. it was already night time already.. not like in the states, sun will not set till 10 at night.. so had some korean noodles & kimchi(spicy wor!) went & find an internet cafe.. chatted with friends bout an hour (1 hour = 1500 won) before heading back to the hotel to sleep.. did not really sleep well.. wake up a couple of times.. then couldn't really fall back asleep later.. went for the most expensive breakfast! cost me 21 bucks!! *faint* please kok my head when i'm back home.. i'm feeling so guilty on spending tt much money on a pathetic american breakfast! URGH!! now in the transit updating my blog.. charging my phone.. talking to Evelyn while waiting to board my flight back home!! I MISS LAKSA!! CHAR KAY TEOw!! :P
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Lost For Words
03:45You were there when I needed someone
You kicked me out of depression
You gave me the feeling of being loved
You showed me someone cared
I learnt to treasure
I learnt to love
I tried to stop the hurt
From memories that are unforgettable
You taught me it should be kept within the heart
I can't shake it off
With the songs playing in my mind
The images when we're together,
Like a VCR
Recorded & Replayed
My heart is beating
Harder than it should
It hurts
I shouldn't have started
Things that I couldn't bear to stop
I'm torn apart
You wiped my tears
You made me smile
You were always there
Nothing else I want you to remember
Except the happiest times
We shared & Loved.
Setting you free
Seems better for future you & me.
I'm thankful to have met you
I'm sorry to have left you
Nothing in this world
Can be exchanged
For the special moments with you.
My days are darker now
My life becomes lonely
I'll try to mend it
I'll try to change
I know it'll never be the same.
For I know, There'll never be a second
To give me as much as you have done for me.
You'll always be kept within me.
Time changes things,
But it'll never change
Me being here for you.
You'll always have that special place in me
That treasures you for being who you are.
Tears will still be falling when I think of you,
But it falls on a smile
Knowing that you're somewhere,
Approaching a better future
As I am.
composed by Natx
http://naughtynatx.blogspot.com
Monday, August 08, 2005
finished reading the book last night.. this is one of my favourite quotes from the book..
"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do." "Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it;" Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others; "Don't assume that it's too late to get involved."
wad i really felt after reading this book.. hmmmmz.. is that when you accept that you are going to die.. it's then that you learn how to live.. n never leave anything go unsaid because you may not get another chance.. especially with forgiveness.. not to take things for granted.. live life to the fullest.. never to regret wad u said or have done..
Maybe i should do a recheck on wad's my life being plan for again? If i do would u guys be able to accept the "new" me again? We shall see then.. tt's my usual phrase.. haha.. wad i'm doing nw.. is it right? is it wrong? did i do right? did i do wrong? i guess tt's not impt to me now.. kinda of having the hacked-care feeling (singlish huh) lol!!
Sunday, August 07, 2005
I want to tell you something you should know
15:27I want to tell you something you should know,
Something that you might not want to hear.
It is, however, true of me, and so
If you would know me, I must make it clear.
I am a woman who loves other women.
I could not, nor would want to be aught else.
I am your daughter and a lesbian.
Please make a place for that within yourself.
Please love me as I am, as I love you
No differently from when I was a child.
I am the daughter that you always knew
Save for one sweet way that fate has smiled.
Whatever you decide, I'll love you still,
For love heeds not the weather, but the will.
by N.G
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie.. *shrugs*
00:34i find this interesting.. LOL read on.. it's from one of the drama gfs she had..
"there are a few rules i know to be true abt love and marriage:
If u dont respect the other person, you're gonna have lots of trouble.
If you dont know how to compromise, you're gonna have lots of trouble.
If you cant talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have lots of trouble.
And if you dont have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have lots of trouble.
And the biggest one of those values - Your belief in the importance of your marriage.
Love each other or perish."
Friday, August 05, 2005
=]
21:04
had a good sleep for the night.. even though was woken up by FT during the middle of the night.. weather's very nice today.. cooling & windy.. love the weather! when to watch Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.. Woon!!! the show is very very nice.. it just brings back memories of when i 1st read the book.. oh man tt was when i was in the teens.. hehehe.. especially when one of the kids in trouble, the Oompa-Loompas will start to dance and sing.. so funny.. i guess when woon wacth the show the music will get stuck in her head and she'll start to irritate us with her singing!! :P So definitely recommend u to watch this movie.. it's really good.. Johnny Depp really brings out the character of Willy Wonka.. tt's all for now can't think of wad to write for now.. enjoy the lyrics of the welcome song.. hehehe..
.............
00:41Pendant votre long voyage de vie
tot ou tard vous rencontrerez une route qui diverge
quels que soit la direction vous choisissez
il y a toujours un autre en face de celui qui vous fait regretter dans votre coeur
La route non prise la expose toujours une tristesse vague, une sorte sombre de crepuscule
During your long journey of life
sooner or later you will meet a road that diverges
whatever direction you choose
there is always another opposite one that makes you regret in your heart
The road not taken is always there exposing a vague sadness, a dim sort of dusk
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The Colman Smith Tarot is a modern reinvention of the classic Rider Waite deck, infusing the original line drawings by Pamela Colman Smith with colors drawn from the psychedelic digital age.
The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. The Fool: Fearlessness, imagination, open-mindedness, and an adventurous spirit. Freedom from cares and worries. Ideas, thoughts, and impulses coming from a completely unexpected place. Nonchalance at the threshold of gaining all or losing all. Extravagance and intoxication with life. The pure and undifferentiated power of creation itself, where ultimate knowledge and oblivion are unified.
The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. Queen of Swords: The essence of air behaving as water, such as a refreshing mist: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees past deception and confusion to the heart of a matter, and understands both sides of any argument. The embodiment of calm, forthrightness, and wit, in the face of even the most trying circumstances.
The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. Three of Wands (Virtue), when reversed: Pride and arrogance. Convincing oneself that the ends justify the means. A great act of betrayal set in motion. Sinking to the level of an opponent. The vain quest for glory and a personal spotlight. Charity or friendship offered with intent of material gain.
The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. The Chariot, when reversed: Ineffective use of force. Might turned against the weak or the righteous. Senseless violence and warmongering. Lack of discipline and poor direction fan the flames of a situation already out of control. Advance without consideration of the consequences for others.
The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Knight of Swords, when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as fire, such as a tornado: A merciless and skillful warrior, unfettered by emotion or conscience. A nihilist who can refuse not even the most insurmountable of challenges. A person who inspires fear and hate through their domineering nature and the power of their presence. Speaking without tact or tolerance, in a sarcastic manner. May portend the swift initiation or conclusion of conflict, through the calamitous invocation of force.
The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Six of Cups (Pleasure), when reversed: Closing your heart to the simple pleasures of life. Escaping realities by living in the past. Refusal to grow up and embrace the joys of adulthood. Contempt for acts of gentle kindness. May indicate immaturity or sexual insecurities. May indicate the departure of an old friend.
The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Four of Cups (Luxury): Being surrounded by love and devotion but taking it for granted. Ignoring the real and longing for the indefinable. Apathy and disengagement from the world. Dissatisfaction with the condition and direction of affairs, but the inability to accept new opportunities.
The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Temperance, when reversed: Lack of restraint and self-control. Losing one's cool. Energies dispersed through conflicts in personal, business, and spiritual matters.
The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Seven of Pentacles (Assessment), when reversed: Labors abandoned before completion. Impatience, lack of effort, and the wasting of time. Idle and unprofitable speculation.
The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Four of Pentacles (Power), when reversed: Using your power freely for your own enjoyment and the betterment of others. Coming to grips with progress and using your position to help it along. Finding security and identity someplace other than in the possession of material things. Letting go and encouraging others to find their own path. Being magnanimous and generous with your success.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Pictures i took during the journey..
22:08
pictures i took when in the plane..
The Journey
22:03Just passby the dateline.. @ 33000 ft, 6493km to go.. Hmmm.. Couldn't really sleep at all.. Damn.. Wad to do.. I just can't sleep.. Just finished watching Robots.. Alwaes love the part where rodney dances to Britney Spears Baby Hit me one more time.. Hahaha.. Wondering wad's gonna be shown next.. My neighbour is a Korean guy who lives in Chicago.. And he owns a gas station.. Cool eh.. He got 2 kids.. he's so proud of them.. haha.. Took a picture of the sky not long ago.. Shall post it later when I've got the chance.. Oh man they're showing Sahara desert if I got the title right.. Shall watch it then.. Shall write more later then..
@ 1645 31/07/05
Just had my breakfast not long ago.. Had my korean cold noodles.. Quite spicy actually.. But it's nice to eat.. Gonna watch my 3rd movie since I can't sleep.. Dun noe if it's nice.. It's called Ice Princess? Dun tell me it's cartoon? Haha.. Can't sleep so watch the show instead.. Yup.. It started.. Dun think it's cartoon.. Had a vague recollection of the show.. Another 2 3 hours will be reaching chicago.. Cannot watch the show already.. It's in KOREAN!! Subtitles in jap???? Damn..
@ 1800 31/07/05