Thursday, March 31, 2005
Deep Within
14:10
Words alone arent always enough,
To fill those instances of loneliness;
Those times Im on my own.
Looking through those little surprises,
Do more magic than just mere words.
Drops of surprises give warmth,
To keep the spirit burning brighter.
I do need an extra touch to feel secure,
As hurt has befallen many a more.
Magic lies beyond just words,
And I need to feel that magic revert.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Skin Deep
02:43
A flash past the eyes and all is gone,
Did you catch it in time or was it lost in time?
Does it sink in your memory and stay right in there
Or does it fade somewhat away and get replaced by something greater?
What we see might not be what it seem,
Always check what's inside, not what's on the top
A heart within speaks more than a million words,
Even far more than what the eyes can see.
Look deep with the heart and you would find,
Greater things beyond you can ever imagine.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Untitled
22:18
Eyes are tools to see the beauty of life,
But all mine show is blackness, no life.
Ears are to hear the joys of this world,
But with my ears, nothing I hear.
A mouth is there to produce the sounds of love,
But with mine, nothing comes forth.
Lost and trapped in a lifeless world,
I struggle on to find life's worth,
But all this is just too grave,
And I find myself helpless and in pain.
How I long to see, hear and speak
But all remains but a dream.
A funny + bad day...
19:44
Theme for today, LIFE'S UNPREDICTABLE, SO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!
Went to work alone today.. wad a very bad day i'm having siah.. contacted the wrong person today i supposed to meet.. have too much things on my mind.. after work wanted to meet woon but today she's having her meeting day.. so in the end went to meet my mei at 7-11.. we had dinner together.. share our woes with each other.. giving each other advices.. haha should be me giving her more advices loh.. then after that went home... now facing my computer doing updates here and there.. dunno if working tonight or not.. let's see how things go then.. yup tt's all i guess for now..
Sunday, March 27, 2005
"A journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step."
19:07
And here is a poem that really touched me, written by Brian, my laogong's brother.
"A thousand steps
Through the sands of time
A million dreams
To be conquered and cherished
Only one wish to the stars above
That I will always be with the one I love
A thousand hopes
For a different life
A million needs
Throughout your lifetime
But all I wish for is one thing tonight
That you, will forever be, by my side."
Hate What I've Become
03:23
I've done a lot of thinking
I didn't know until now
Everything I've become
Something i don't want, something i don't know
I don't even know who i am anymore
Slowly losing friends and everything i have
Dr owing in my own sorrow
Don't know what I'm still here for
I've made a lot of mistakes
That i regret a ton
I've said alot of things i really didn't mean
And now my life is dull, never having fun
Slowly killing myself, nothing to care about
Living life in misery
Living full of doubt
Living life with nothing, nothing at all
There is nowhere i can go, nothing i can do
No one i can count on, no one to turn too
Life sucks, people suck I've heard it all before
But everyday it gets worse I'm hurting more and more
Nothing will change if i leave now
I'm not too important just another selfish being
Finally my life is coming to an end
So I'm sorry, goodbye my friend
by Lisa marie
Wad a day..
03:12
hmmmz.. had too much drink yesterday nite been a while since i drank that much.. haha was in no condition to talk or sms back anyone.. yup.. cried my heart out too.. after tt i feel much much better.. wo ai de ren bu shi wo de ai ren.. yes i'm a fool! crazy one.. haha.. weird me.. dunno wad to write now.. lost of words lost of thoughts.. still been thinking bout her but wad for.. maybe all i can do is to get hold of myself.. be strong.. yup.. must do it.. yes i will.. so girls out there beware cause here i come! hahaha =P
Saturday, March 26, 2005
once again i'm lost
00:07
haha.. feeling damn lost again.. dunno where i'm heading and wad i should do again.. maybe i should pay monica another visit? i dunno.. all i feel now is to go out for a drink.. cool things down and everything.. yup going to do that now.. haha.. *sigh*
Friday, March 25, 2005
a sad and heartbreaking decision
13:13
Yup.. i've made up my mind.. Been thinking bout it since i woke up this morning.. dunno how many sticks of ciggies have i smoked.. Yes.. I'm going to let her go.. though it's very heartbreaking to do so.. it's just not meant to be.. she does not belong to me but to someone else.. yup.. my heart aches very badly while i'm writing this.. all i can say is i've really fallen for her badly but i'll pick up myself and move on.. yes.. definitely it'll take time..*sigh* she will never noe that i really like her alot.. i'll bring this secret of mine to the grave if i have to.. As i feel it's all a one sided love.. i'm nobody and she'll never fall for me right? *sigh*
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Sound
18:56
Your face ripples to mind
to pleasure me
and out again
an image lost
only to splash onto my page of work
clear as a beached shell
I listen down to low tide
hoping to hear your breath
but its softness drowns
in the warning cry of a starboard buoy
lurching on the bars of waves
stretched across the sound.
Each breaker’s damp white hem
pillowed by the rocks
echoes the whisper of my voice
saying your name.
© e-poems.org 2002
01:17
Took this when i was in the car today.. look stoopid hor like an idiot siah.. hahahhaha
Monday, March 21, 2005
Pretending it's not real
10:08
A shooting star flew by
And you quickly came to mind
You're exactly what I wanted
You're what my thoughts would find
Our friendship flashed before me
And a smile I found on my face
I loved each and every moment
Of your sweet enchanting grace
I was memorized so much
By the words that you would speak
I couldn't seem to help
That I'd always grow so weak
At first I liked our friendship
How we could trust each other
How our friendship grew so strong
With one another
I'm not sure when it started
But i began to fall for you
I couldn't stop my feelings
There was nothing I could do
But soon my feelings grew stronger
And you're all I thought about
My heart was beating only for you
And in that there was no doubt
I tried to get over it
Knowing it would never be
Knowing I was just playing with my feelings
Thinking you would fall for me
I didn't tell anyone
Not even my best friends
Didn't want to risk our friendship
Didn't want it to end
I couldn't control it
I yearned for you so much
Didn't want anything else
Except your gentle touch
I kept my mouth shut
Trying to deny it to myself
Pretending I didn't have those feelings
Lying to myself
This love is starting to hurt
Pretending it's not real
Trying to put it in the past
Refusing to reveal
©Copyright Christina Gomes 2005
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Wad to write...
22:16
Hmmmz... wad should i write today.. have not been updating my life story for quite sometime.. life's still the same for me.. been working and working... but got to have time alone by myself these few days.. been thinking bout things that i've done or have not done... should i pursue to further my studies.. should i tell her that i like her? haha nah i wun.. cause i dun wan to get hurt again.. rather concentrate on wad i should do for my future... if my future's not secured how am i to provide a good life for my future gf and myself.. today i drove to ICA to hand in some documents.. while i was there my sis-in-law called me.. asking whether i wan to go suntec and see boy boy learn how to play golf... so i met them there.. while the trial lesson starts.. he's SO SHY... hahaha keep sticking his tongue out.. so i stayed with him to make him feel comfortable.. he can play golf well just that he needs some time to get comfortable with the teacher especially... after that i drove to my favourite spot again.. enjoying the wind and have a smoke before i go home.. i really love the place alot.. haha.. then when i'm home i realise i did not eat for the entire day... cannot believe it at all... me the lover of food.. haha... so in the end went out with my dad for dinner and we bought a new toaster oven and also sausages to eat haha shoik... at nite hungry can heat it up... yummy!! now why am i writing this blog cause Ms eve wants me to update it so therefore this is wad has happen to me today.. =]
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Sad And Quiet Night
01:58
It was a sad and quiet night,
with words as my shade,
I wrote this poem to you,
hoping that the pain would fade.
Hoping that the pain would fade,
the pain I feel in me,
as each day passes by,
the time might set me free.
It was a sad and quiet night,
when I faced the hardest part,
cause I was all by myself,
with a broken heart.
It was a sad and quiet night,
with my head in hand,
when I learned to accept,
and how to understand.
Now I do understand,
that reality is pain,
which brought me tears,
and left me in the rain.
It was a sad and quiet night,
as my dreams went through,
I realize my mistake,
it was wrong to love you
by Adz
Friday, March 11, 2005
What is your seduction style
21:22
Your Seduction Style: The Charmer |
You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.And then you've got them exactly where you want them! |
What is your Seduction Style?
Confusing me
17:03
If I had the chance to make a wish
If I found a genie in a bottle
My wish would be to be your other half
With you lying in my arms
I don't know what you're feeling
But if you like me as well
Give me more obvious signs
'Cuz all you're doing now
Is confusing me
- Unknown
Reflections of one sided love
17:00
I'm sick of these words I write for you
Words I know you'll never get to read
because you don't seem to care
For you, they may be only words so meaningless
but for me, these poems are so much more
And although these lyrics are just
reflections of one-sided love
They're mine
and still mean everything to me
- Unknown
Hmmmz...
16:13
Just came back from a trip from batam.. it was really a slack slack time for me.. got sunburned man.. now i'm in pain so my friends see me PLS dun hit me on my shoulder!!! i'll scream!! and u get hell from me.. and i mean it huh.. The spa treatment would have been better if they are not ROUGH.. and i was already sunburned.. while i was there i really miss her alot.. wondering how's she and how's she doing now.. haha now i'm back i''l get to hear from her soon i guess.. all the best to myself huh.. LOL.. yeah.. see how it goes huh.. =]
Monday, March 07, 2005
really lost? but moving on slowly.. give me time..
11:49
hmmmm.. yesterday went to Monica for a tarot reading with woon, ryan and sharon.. there's actually so much question in my head waiting to ask her.. but when i sat down to start i'm just lost of words... maybe i was uncomfortable as ryan and sharon was in the room.. so lastly i ask them to step out.. I'm sorry k really never wanted to do that but some stuff quite personal to me.. that i wan to ask wan to noe.. after they left.. i start to ask questions i need to noe.. Monica told me that i'm holding on to the past i must let it go in order to move on.. There's 2 girls in my life that's impt to me she says.. Yah in my heart i noe who they are.. she says i dunno wad i really wan.. like one moment i've got something, i'll start to feel that the other one is better.. as she said i'll mentally 2-timed them.. woah... i never thought that it could happen.. she says that i'm egoistic, arrogance and like to be in control.. if i dun do anything i'll lose them.. in my heart i say.. omigawd can this be really happening to me.. but most importantly i must make peace with my past, so that once i'm at peace everything will flow in smoothly.. i've actually started on it, i've got to make peace with one girl whom i lost during last year, it's actually very good.. i was really happy that we're friends again.. yap i making the step now.. actually feeling much better than yesterday.. haha it really take lots of my courage as when i'm down i can be fucking pessimistic.. oh yah she says i might move out of the country to start something new.. guess where's the venue.. it's US.. haha cannot believe it at 1st.. i dunno it'll happen 6 mths down the road.. hmmmmz... i just let it be if it happens it happens.. bout my career she says i dun appreciate wad i have.. must learn to be more appreciative.. yap.. *sigh* say that in order to be successful in my career i need to do that.. if not i'll be going no where.. so now i'm gonna start anew.. after the reading at least i've got some direction of where i wan to head to i'm not totally believing in it.. but i trust that life's fate is decided by one's decision and choices.. not by listening to others alwaes it's as though you're the puppet being in control by them..
lastly she ask me to draw a card out.. i drew a card call Goals..
Goals
The end or final purpose, boundary, line, or place at which a race is ended; the mark
What is your goal in this situation? Consider it from all angles. You may be surprised with what you learn. It may help you to become more clear and focused in your direction.
Great results can only be achieved when positive effort is directed toward your goals; focus on them.
It may be time to define your higher purpose. What do you truly want in your life? What are you aiming for? Can you see or feel yourself being led in a new direction? Follow that lead.
There is a need for you to stretch. Follow your intuition. Get up and go for it.
Perhaps it is time to redefine old goals that you have set for yourself. There is an opening of positive energy available to you at this time.
Maybe what you need is a good hard kick, aimed at getting you moving in a positive direction. Move forward.
Incredible heights can be reached, but it begins with a single step.
after she read it to me.. i was thinking woah.. i was so lost in which direction to go.. wad i want to do.. wad i wan in my life.. it's almost like someone just gave me a hard knock on my head to start thinking on wad i wan.. haha yes.. i'm moving on.. i'm just more worried bout woonie..
So later when after the reading of woon she took out another pack of tarot cards.. it's about words from the guardian angels.. mine was Omega..
Omega
Victory! Your desire is
coming to fruition,
Keep up the good work
" Congratulations! You have chosen to follow your Divine guidance, and The Universe is flowing in natural rhythm with your decision. When you listen to the messages that your heart whispers, you swim in natural synchronicity with the tide of your life's purpose. Stay relaxed and confident, and keep moving forward with happiness and grace.
" If, along the way, you notice problems occuring then it's time to stop and center yourself. When problems occur, it simply means that you're temporary out of sync with the Universe's rhythms. There is no need for analysis or shame when this occurs. Simply pray or meditate, breath deeply and wait until you feel strongly about your next move. Your victory is inevitable in this situation, so you needn't worry that temporary problems will thwart your desire. Whatever happens is supposed to happen, and when it happens is the correct time. Release your doubts to Heaven, and rest assured that a happy outcome is yours."
Nice eh.. it was drawn after i had been thinking of what i'm going to do next.. i will make it! pray for me arh! haha that's all.. need to go pom pom liao.. need to go out later.. will update my blog again.. till then..
THE END. (to be continued....)
Meet my gaze...
11:01
Meet my gaze, don't turn away.
Don't regret your ache, nor run from me.
You're beautiful in your tearglow calm
But no sorrow is worth its misery.
Without these walls a starbright river
Weaves a current for a silver sliver,
And the windsong has but joy to deliver.
I offer no pillar, I offer no end,
For all that comes from deep within.
I offer no reprieve, yet neither idle ear,
But I offer footfalls as companion.
So meet my gaze and an equal be,
For a waltz there is for you and me,
Beneath the magic of a starlight sea.
-FTS Miles
Thursday, March 03, 2005
00:44
Lyrics of my present background song...
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Wad a day...
23:36
got up so early today in the morning... cause my mei left her project disc at my place and she need it by today loh.. so stoned so tired but when i came home but couldn't sleep at all... so i ended up playing my game RO on my computer... later my sis wake up and she wans to use the comp.. so i left with nothing to do ended up stoning in my room.. then naturally i dozed off at last.. but less than 10 mins.. my dad woke me up to go work.. so EVEN more stoned than before.. Went down to my mom's brother new stall to eat Lor Mee.. ok only lah... could be better.. haha.. then went to do my usual work... on my way back i got to loan the car to go out.. so ended up waiting for ryan to be done and both of us went to the chalet over at Changi.. it was fun over there... the chalet is called wad aloha chalet arh.. the scenery is very nice in the day.. but when it gets dark it tends to be QUITE eerie! -_- the bdae boy's gf MinMin was so nice... she cook so many food for him and the curry was SHIOK.. yummy siah.. then we went to the 2nd level to cut the bdae cake.. ended up the bdae boy got SABOED by us!! hehe face smashed with cake courtesy of Woon.. and he's soaked through with water courtesy of me, woon, sam and sam's friend (haha forget his name..)... after that drove woon to see doctor loh.. 46 bucks siah cause it's a 24 hour clinic but she got 2 day MC shiok loh.. then drove her home and a smoke talk a bit of crap haha.. then sent ryan back then went home liao cause my dad need to use the car... long day for me siah... but it was fun.. looking forward to this sat hotel stay.. gonna R&R with my friends! =]